Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
