Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
