At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
