I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
