what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
