I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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