so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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