This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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