My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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