If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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