I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
