it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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