actually, I'm a sock model
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
