I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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