Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's not a walk of shame if you run
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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