I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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