Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
