I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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