So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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