i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Im part way to drunk.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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