so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
