He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
