Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
