Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
