Will you blow on my dice?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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