angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize