Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
