Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
