Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
