You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
