i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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