margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Panties = found
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
