Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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