he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would ride that face into the sunset
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
