Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
