I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
