I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize