i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
