If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
