Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your penis caused this!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
