I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can u get pink eye on your cock?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize