After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
