Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
