Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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