Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
