Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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