Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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