So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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