I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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