he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
