i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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