one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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