a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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