Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
