then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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