I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
