the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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