STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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