There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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