bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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