Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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